nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
