I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
