Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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