I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
