Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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