dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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