Whod you bang
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
