i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize