My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
