dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
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