is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
