I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize