I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
