Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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