bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
