Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
