Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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