It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
