good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
