We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
4 words: hood of his car
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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