i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
