Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
