The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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