bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
