he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
