Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
