So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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