Christians are straight up FREAKS
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Boobs are out for the taking
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
