So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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