I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
we should paint friendship bongs
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