Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
