you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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