oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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