we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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