You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
