I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I need to stop coming to work sober
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
