Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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