I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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