At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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