woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
