either way he was missing a nipple.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
