sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize