i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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