Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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