ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize