i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
