my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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