I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
