"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
