We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
