I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
