dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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