Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
