So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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