yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
