She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
