I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
