Ambien. No doubt about it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
