we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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