its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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