"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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