He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
