We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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