you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
