omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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