Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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