apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
