Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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